What we learn from others

#whereitgoeswrong #whereitgoesright #quickthoughts

I spent five years of my life, holding someone else's dream together, never truly claiming it as my own. I kept that dream together with bubble gum and duct tape, and an awful lot of learning on the job. The entire time, I thought, why did I take this? Why am I doing this? I questioned my place in the role and if I could do it. The answer was, yes, I could, because I was. That didn't take away the looming voice that reminded me I was an imposter.

Imagine my surprise when hearing some of the most impressive names in theatre production in Ireland sharing that same voice, echoing in their past choices, still haunting the present. On Monday, NUIGalway hosted an amazing group of producers and theater-makers for a series of workshops and panels. Participants learned about career paths, obstacles, and the value of a good mentor in the world of stage today. Primarily female, it was amazing to hear the variety of ways that these women have found to make art happen. From self-producing to working with major funders, we heard the gamut of experiences.

I wish I had a mentor in that past life. I wish I could have been a better producer and theatre-maker for those students and for that institution. They deserved better. BUT that doesn't mean that I was an imposter. I'm realizing that. I made the best I could out of an improbable situation. A drive to excel tells me the ways I could have been better. Wisdom tells me to remember those ways when I find myself in that situation once more.